You Are Kidding!!!

Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought Donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.’
Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’
The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’
Chuck said, ‘Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’
The farmer asked, ‘What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’
The farmer said, ‘You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!’
Chuck said, ‘Sure I can Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, ‘What happened with that dead donkey?’
Chuck said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.’
The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’
Chuck said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.’

Chuck now works for the government.

Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not

started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?

Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered

that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation's

capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or

crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was 'desecrated'

when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well, I

don't. I don't care at all.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for

incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring

about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for chopping off

Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Iraq come out

and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in

mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of

nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide .

I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First

Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the

United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi

terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move

because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't

care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed

'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that

his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your

heart of hearts: I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled

'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you

guessed it-I don't care!!

If you don't agree, with the above then please don't complain when more atrocities

committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:

'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference

in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem' -- Ronald

Reagan

One last thought for the day:

In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment

and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime Minister Tony

Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his

Parliament members why he believes so much in America , he said: 'A simple

way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many

want out.'

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:

1. Jesus Christ

2. The American G. I.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The
chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the
need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on
the
other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to
cross
the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure –
right
from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it
deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me…….

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he
must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need
to
do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his
‘CURRENT’
problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road…

ANDERSON COOPER – CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in
his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth?’
That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that
chicken
is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal
media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other
side.

That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as
simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads,
but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C% ………
reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where’s my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.