Redneck Security System

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HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men’s
used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy
of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and
magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Big’un, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer.
Back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls – they
attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up
bad. I don’t think Killer took part, but it was hard
to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four
of ’em in the house. Better wait outside.

Cooter

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