You Are Kidding!!!

Memorial Day at an airport in Germany, a few years back: Frankfurt Airport

The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short-tempered lot. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.

Speedbird 206: “Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active.”

Ground: “Guten morgan, taxi to your gate.”

The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?”

airplane70 Very Funny Memorial Day Jokes Frankfurt Airport

Speedbird 206: “Stand by, ground, I’m looking up the gate location now.”

Ground (with typical German impatience): “Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?”

Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, in 1944. But I didn’t stop”.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into
the taxi.

Cabbie says, ‘Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.

Passenger: ‘Who?’

Cabbie: ‘Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to
Frank Feldman every single time.’

Passenger: ‘There are always a few clouds over everybody.’

Cabbie: ‘Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete.
He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros..
He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you
should have heard him play the piano.
He was an amazing guy.’

Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: ‘There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered
everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which
fork to eat them with.
He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street
blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right.

Passenger: ‘Wow, some guy then.’

Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic
jams.
Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.
But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman
and make her feel good.
He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his
clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too – He was the
perfect man!
He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.’

Passenger: ‘An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?’

Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”