“We know it’s late, Sir, but we have some information about your wife” said one of the agents.

“Tell me! Did you find her?”

The agents looked at each other. Finally one said, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, the husband said, “Give me the bad news first”.

The second agent said, “I’m sorry to tell you, Sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in the bay.”

“Oh my God!” exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked “What’s the good news?”

The agent continued, “When we pulled her up, she had six twenty-five pound blue point crabs and four dozen good size crawfish clinging to her.”

Stunned, the husband demanded, “If that’s the good news, what’s the great news?”

The agent answered, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow!”

IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.

IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET

A JOB, A DRIVERS LICENSE, SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION, FREE HEALTH CARE, A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY’S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH RESPECT

AND, IN MANY INSTANCES, YOU CAN VOTE.

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION.