You Are Kidding!!!

New York, November 23 — Providing deeper insight into the climate change scientific establishment, the hundreds of emails hacked from a British university and posted online has sparked another climate change debate.

This time it has raised questions about the authenticity of the data provided by the scientists at the Climatic Research Unit (CRU) of the University of East Anglia.

The global warming skeptics say that the e-mail messages, highlighting the correspondence between prominent climate change researchers in America and UK, show that scientists have manipulated data to fit their theory that humans are responsible for global warming.

“We feel that climate science is, in the current situation, too important to be kept under wraps,” stated the hacker on the site Air Vent.

E-mail conversations
The e-mails include discussions of efforts to ensure the report from Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change includes their findings and exclude all contrary data.

In one of the e-mails, CRU’s professor Phil Jones wrote that he was worried about the Freedom of Information request seeking data that he has used to support his findings. In order to make research fit the conclusions, he was contemplating to delete some unrealistic figures.

“I’ve just completed Mike’s Nature trick of adding in the real temps to each series for the last 20 years (ie from 1981 onwards) amd [sic] from1961 for Keith’s to hide the decline,” stated an email from Jones in 1999.

In another e-mail Kevin Trenberth wrote, “Well I have my own article on where the heck is global warming? We are asking that here in Boulder where we have broken records the past twodays for the coldest days on record. We had 4 inches of snow. The high the last 2 days was below 30F and the normal is 69F, and it smashed the previous records for these days by 10F. The low was about 18F and also a record low, well below the previous record low.”

He further added that they are not able to account for ‘lack of warming’ at the moment and it is a ‘travesty’ that they cannot.

The identity of the hackers is not certain but the stolen e-mails and documents have been posted on a site called‘an elegant chaos’.

E-mails taken out of context
Though the university officials have confirmed the leakage, many believe that the move is meant to undermine the climate change summit in Copenhagen in December.

Government representatives from 191 nations, NGOs, journalists and others are expected to meet in Copenhagen to reach consensus over limiting emission of green house gases.

Trenberth was quoted by Associated Press as saying, “It is right before the Copenhagen debate, I’m sure that is not a coincidence.”

He further added that he was shocked at the selective use of e-mails and so by the fact that they have been “taken out of context”.

Even Jones denied claims that facts have been manipulated and asserted that the word “trick” used by him means “a clever thing to do”.

Read it here:
http://www.themoneytimes.com/featured/20091123/scientists-debunk-global-warming-manipulation-id-1091804.html

“Justice needs to be served, but not at the expense of innocent people - that wouldn’t be justice, would it?”

Because he wanted to pass a family business on to his son and two daughters, Charles Terrizzi started his own small company out of the converted garage behind his house. With five employees, Charles’ start-up, Chase Air, installs air conditioners in homes in Jacksonville, Florida.

Last year, Charles was working in a customer’s attic when he received a call from his service crew. He learned that a man crossed a yellow line and veered into oncoming traffic, hitting one of Chase Air’s two vans head on. The police determined that the accident was the other driver’s fault. But that didn’t stop the ticketed driver from hiring a lawyer to file a claim with Charles’ insurance, threatening to sue if they did not pay for the damages that, according to the police report, he himself caused. 

Like they do with many other claims, the insurance company decided that, not withstanding the facts of the accident, it would be more costly to fight and win in court than simply to pay a settlement, so they gave the driver $10,000. Charles said, “The sad truth is that it’s cheaper for [the insurer] to settle as if they did something wrong when they didn’t do something wrong… Thus it’s perpetuated that opportunistic lawyers can continue to do these things. They’re made stronger when who’s made weaker? The American people – the hardworking people.” 

In this case, Charles was right. After receiving the money from Charles’ insurance company, the driver and his lawyers next sued the young man who was driving the Chase Air truck. That case is still ongoing.

Speaking about the cost of lawsuits to American businesses, whether in the form of higher insurance costs, out of court settlements, or expensive legal fees, Charles said, “All these things factor into our ultimate price to our consumers, and everybody has to pay for it.” 

According to Charles, not only do the costs of liability insurance and other legal fees drive up prices, but one lawsuit could easily put his small start-up company out of business. “Justice needs to be served, but not at the expense of innocent people – that wouldn’t be justice, would it?”

For more jaw dropping cases of lawsuit abuse, visit Faces of Lawsuit Abuse.

 The piece below was written by Ron Gomez from Lafayette, LA. If you
don’t know Ron, he’s had a long and distinguished career in Lafayette,
LA, where he’s been a journalist, a radio and TV announcer, a 3 term
Louisiana state representative, a huge supporter of USL-ULL, an owner
of an advertising and public relations firm, and a published author.

IF THIS IS NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA, DELETE IT. IF IT IS, LET’S GET WITH
IT!!!!!

There’s a storm abrewin’. What happens when good,
responsible people keep quiet? Washington has forgotten they work
for us. We don’t work for them. Throwing good money after bad is
NOT the answer. I am sick of the midnight, closed door sessions to
come up with a plan. I am sick of Congress raking CEO’s over the
coals while they, themselves, have defaulted on their taxes. I am
sick of the bailed out companies having lavish vacations and
retreats on my dollar. I am sick of being told it is MY
responsibility to rescue people that, knowingly, bought more house
than they could afford. I am sick of being made to feel it is my
patriotic duty to pay MORE taxes. I, like all of you, am a
responsible citizen. I pay my taxes. I live on a budget and I
don’t ask someone else to carry the burden for poor decisions I may
make. I have emailed my congressmen and senators asking them to NOT
vote for the stimulus package as it was written without reading it
first. No one listened. They voted for it, pork and all.

O.K. folks, here it is. You may think you are just one voice and
what you think won’t make a difference. Well, yes it will and YES,
WE CAN!! If you are disgusted and angry with the way Washington is
handling our taxes. If you are fearful of the fallout from the
reckless spending of BILLIONS to bailout and “stimulate” without
accountability and responsibility then we need to become ONE, LOUD
VOICE THAT CAN BE HEARD FROM EVERY CITY, TOWN, SUBURB AND HOME IN
AMERICA. There is a growing protest to demand that Congress, the
President and his cabinet LISTEN to us, the American Citizens. What
is being done in Washington is NOT the way to handle the economic
free fall..

So, here’s the plan. On April 1, 2009, all Americans are asked to
send a TEABAG to Washington , D.C. You do not have to enclose a
note or any other information unless you so desire. Just a
TEABAG. Many cities are organizing protests. If you simply
search, “New American Tea Party”, several sites will come up. If
you aren’t the ‘protester’ type, simply make your one voice heard
with a TEABAG. Your one voice will become a roar when joined with
millions of others that feel the same way.. Yes, something needs to
be done but the lack of confidence as shown by the steady decline in
the stock market speaks volumes.

This was not my idea. I visited the sites of the ‘New American Tea
Party’ and an online survey showed over 90% of thousands said they
would send the teabag on April 1. Why, April 1?? We want them to
reach Washington by April 15. Will you do it? I will. Send it to:

President Barack Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington , D.C.. 20500

Forward this to everyone in your address book. I
would encourage everyone to go ahead and get the envelope ready to
mail, then just drop it in the mail April 1. Can’t guarantee what
the postage will be by then, it is going up as we speak, but have
your envelope ready. What will this cost you? A little time and a
42 or 44 cent stamp.

What could you receive in benefits? Maybe, just maybe, our elected
officials will start to listen to the people. Take out the Pork.
Tell us how the money is being spent. We want TRANSPARENCY AND
ACCOUNTABILITY. Remember, the money will be spent over the next 4-5
years. It is not too late.

What can we Lose???????

Ron Gomez, Lafayette, LA

GLOBAL WARMING
FACT OR FICTION, SCARE OR SCANDAL?
These are my thoughts on Global Warming right after watching Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth, reading
Michael Crichton’s State Of Fear and doing a decent amount of my own research. These are just my
thoughts written down in bulleted format to get the points across while being a little amusing.
1) Actual Temperature Readings: It’s pretty clear that the majority of the globe is heating up. Many
places aren’t, but on average I don’t think this can be debated much. People who deny this are risking
being put into the Holocaust Denier Category. Saying “nu-huh!” isn’t a valid argument. However, I
don’t think the relationship between emissions and their effects is greatly understood based on the
fact that the global climate is so utterly complex, but I’ll get more into that later.
What also isn’t greatly understood is whether the earth has ever been hotter than it is right now,
which is important to know. Of course, if you hate Florida for stealing the last presidential election,
then you’ll unquestionably believe Al Gore’s graph in An Inconvenient Truth of the last 650,000
years that shows our current temperature which is significantly warmer (no actual numbers were
given) than all other time periods, including the “Medieval Warming Period”. It’s also vitally
important to note that an Oscar was awarded for this movie, so it must be scientifically accurate
despite the fact that the real scientific journal Nature doesn’t agree with him. Nature states that
“During the last four interglacials, going back 420,000 years, the Earth was warmer than it is today.”
(“Climate and atmospheric history of the past 420,000 years from the Vostok ice core, Antarctica”.
Nature 399, 429-436 (3 June 1999) Received 20 January 1999; Accepted 14 April 1999.
http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v399/n6735/abs/399429a0.html.)
2) Death by CO2, compliments of Al Gore: It’s clear that CO2 levels in the atmosphere are closely
tied to the temperature. There are, however, large periods where the CO2 rises and temp falls, which
is more evidence that the climate is an unpredictable, chaotic system, but overall these can roughly be
equated. It’s not, however, a 1:1 ratio. If CO2 levels double, the temperature doesn’t. This is
important when looking at graphs like the one Al Gore showed of 650,000 years of CO2 and
temperatures for Antarctica. He forgot to point out that while he was showing us how much the CO2
(in parts per million) is expected to climb.
The trouble with CO2 levels is that nobody expects us to stop emitting, just slow down a little.
Al Gore pointed out that the burning of forests is responsible for 30% of CO2 emissions. So how
much of the remaining 70% are humans responsible for, after things like volcanoes? Who knows.
Gore also said that the US is responsible for more than 30% of the world’s emissions, and that if we
do everything right we could get back down to 1970 emission rates. How much of a cutback is that
exactly? 1970 isn’t exactly the turn of the century; I’m sure relative emissions aren’t that much
beneath today’s. So we’re talking about cutting CO2 emissions by a portion (back to the 1970’s) of
30% (US emissions) of some portion of 70% (after forest fires, volcanoes, and other natural sources).
And that’s supposed to “save the planet”? Oh, that’s right, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate
Change (IPCC) only predicted 1.1-2.9 degrees C increase by 2100…tons more than the 0.6 degree C
increase we’ve seen during the last 127 years. Wait, I need the media to remind me: what am I
supposed to be terrified of again?
Gore also made a big deal about the fact that an analysis of 928 peer-reviewed journal articles on
climate change showed zero articles stating that humans aren’t affecting the global climate. I could
have saved everyone some time: of course we’re affecting the environment, CO2 levels, and climate
change. I affect it with every CO2-containing breath I exhale, and every mile I drive. Whether we’re
affecting it or not isn’t the question, but rather how MUCH we’re effecting it, and whether drastically
changing our ways will bring about any kind of measurable outcome. But nobody puts an arguable
number out there; the arguments deal in “affects” and “contributes to” and other relativities, not
absolutes.
3) Sustainability and the Paranoid Fear Of Change: The recurring theme in all green arguments is
the same tired, sentimental idea that they want things to be the same as they used to be…they want
granddaddy’s tobacco farm to stay the way they remember it, they want the world to be sustained in
it’s present state. This has been the core of every green thought ever expressed, and was constantly
peppered throughout An Inconvenient Truth. This lake is getting smaller: bad. This river is getting
bigger: bad. This place is getting more rain: bad. This place is getting less rain: bad. This population
of wildlife is exploding: bad. This population of wildlife is shrinking: bad. Atmosphere getting
warmer: bad. Atmosphere getting colder: bad. Up: bad. Down: bad. Right: bad. Left: just right!
The idea that we can keep a system as complex and chaotic as the global environment the same as
it used to be is egocentric and naïve in the extreme. It’s never been done successfully before, and
that’s not likely to change very soon, no matter how much planet-saving Gore convinced himself he
could do from the Office Of The President that was stolen from him (as he pointed out at least twice
in the movie). Look at the history of the management of Yellowstone National Park. People wanted
to keep it like it was in the good ole’ days, and ended up changing it permanently through ignorance.
Gore pointed out that some little bird species is dying off due to some bug not hatching at the correct
time, due, of course, to Global Warming. Welcome to Nature, Mr. Almost President. Species have
been dying off and coming into existence since the beginning. I heard that some scientist said about
90% of the species that have ever existed are now extinct; all the millions of species we have today
are only 10% of history’s total. The world has never stopped changing, so the fact that some bird
species is getting thin, or some lake in Timbuckthree isn’t as big as it used to be doesn’t concern me
at all. Until we start something drastic like exporting water, plants and animals off the planet, a little
re-arranging doesn’t bother me.
Green folk talk about the need for a sustainable lifestyle and the dire consequences of being so
oil-dependant. I agree with them, the course we’re on now isn’t sustainable…for hundreds of more
years anyway. Population growth, oil consumption, rising prices, it sounds real bad. But what it
doesn’t sound like is all that different than life today compared to 150 years ago. To 150-year-agoians,
things are extremely different and scary! Things are more expensive, there’s more people
everywhere, the cost of medicine is through the roof, your house costs a small fortune, you can’t go
out and shoot an elephant (which would be really cool)…but look at all the things that were invented
in that timeframe that the 150-year-ago-ians had no idea about. Planes, SUV’s, aspirin, magnetic
trains, computers, cell phones, satellites, penicillin, space-travel, penis enlargement surgery…all this
was completely unthinkable then, just as all the inventions and improvements of the next 150 years is
unthinkable to us now. This is the simple concept that all doomsday-ists fail to grasp. It’s naïve to
think that nothing will be invented to help the problem, and terribly egotistical to assume that we
know what’s best for the future planet, just like we wouldn’t think anyone living in 1850 should make
decisions regarding our best interests…too many things have changed, and change isn’t predictable.
Yes, some things will get worse in the future, but some things will undoubtedly get better too. And if
things don’t get better, massive amounts of people may die from disease, wars over food, or lack of
enlarged penises. But I don’t see how that would be bad for the planet. (Gasp!! Did I just say
that??? More on that to come…)
4) I just don’t think the sky is falling: Melting ice caps, melting glaciers, melting snow on top of
mountains (like Kilimanjaro, which despite Gore, isn’t due to Global Warming according to CNN
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/06/12/climate.kilimanjaro.reut/index.html), storms, terror,
the devil, belly-button lint…..all this was happening long before the industrial revolution, and this
isn’t debated by Global Warming advocates. They just claim that we’re making it worse; that we’re
speeding up the process. Gore talked a lot about rising seas and hurricanes during his Oscar-winning
performance. According to him, the weather’s about to get really bad, and Hurricane Katrina’s just
the tip of the iceberg. But the average number of hurricanes per year has been steadily declining
since 1851 (see http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/pastdec.shtml). That doesn’t agree at all with the doomsday
fearmonger attention-seekers. We’re all supposed to be dying!! Remember Katrina, people!! You
may remember that in 2006, after we all heard MANY dire predictions about the upcoming hurricane
season, it was a big dud. Did Global Warming take a year off? I dismiss all the fire-and-brimstone
predictions as SWAGS at best…Scientific Wild Ass Guesses. How can they reliably predict
something as complex as the climate 100 years into the future when they can’t tell me what the
weather’s going to be like in 11 days or predict a hurricane season with any reliable degree of
certainty? It’s all just guesses, and it should be treated as such. Gore also mentioned the 20ft rising
seas and talked about all the refugees as a result of that disaster, saying it will be thousands of times
worse than Katrina. That made me laugh. Katrina happened in a single night, the process of rising
seas is predicted over 100 years.
All these SWAGS and predictions are two sided. For ever action there is a reaction, and no event
is ever all-positive or all-negative; something such as the reaction of a complex global climate is often
surprising. Take the 97-98 El-Niño, which is much like the doomsday-predictions of Global Warmists.
According to Stanley A. Shanganon’s report in the Bulletin to the American Meteorological
Society: “The net economic benefit was surprisingly positive…direct losses nationally were about $4
billion and the benefits were approximately $19 billion,” due to a longer growing season and less
spent on winter heating. How do we know that a few more degrees over 100 years won’t be great?
We could produce more food for the hordes of starving people who’s population is exploding. I
predict the next 100 years will be horrible or wonderful, but probably somewhere in-between, and I’m
just as accurate as global warming alarmists. This is easy, can I get a grant?
I equate climate change scientists to economists. Both are supposed experts, and both study
extraordinarily complex systems that are impossible to predict with any certainty. It’s a common
conception that economists are primarily guessing because we see them get things wrong constantly
(and if they knew what they were talking about, none would be on TV, they would just be day-trading
from home and raking in millions). But while economists are considered with some amount of doubt,
these Global Warming scientists are regarded as prophets of the future. I don’t get it. They don’t
have any more certain of an idea regarding global climate than your stock broker does of the Dow.
What Al Gore didn’t say in-between all his political rhetoric with zooming black-and-white stills
of him saving the planet, was one simple prediction: What the temperature of the globe will be if we
take no action vs. the temperature of the globe if we follow all his AlGore-ithms (yeah, I invented that
little nugget a few months ago). Why didn’t he? Because the answer to the comparison is terribly
anti-climatic. He showed huge graphs with no legible numerical data. He got on a sky-lift to
illustrate how high the predicted CO2 levels will be in 50 years and then mentioned how we’re going
to “lose the planet” if we don’t act now. He discussed in length how fragile the atmosphere was
compared to the rest of the planet, but he didn’t give the simple temperature predictions. Why?
Because it’s much easier to get attention by talking about death and destruction than it is by admitting
that the huge difference you want to make is a few parts of a degree.
While we’re at it, let’s think about what a 1.1-2.9 degree C swing in world temperature will
actually be like. Death? Destruction? Dismemberment? Another plague? Well, it’s actually
surprisingly easy to imagine. Think all the way back to say, 1996 where it was 1.41 degrees C cooler
in the US than it was in 1998. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t seem to remember dying from
storms, floods, or greenhouse gasses that year. Or the period from 1917 to 1921 where the average
temp in the US went up 2.18 degrees C. That’s double the minimum IPCC prediction, and yet
amazingly the world survived! Well, Al Gore wasn’t desperately trying to cling to the media
spotlight back then.
Something else is missing from all the hocus-pocus scientific predictions, and that’s what I’d call
a degree of uncertainty. Useful predictions / estimates are accompanied by a degree of accuracy or
uncertainty, such as “Planet X is 13.6 billion miles away, +/- 500 million miles. This would be much
less accurate than: Planet X is 13.6 billion miles away, +/- 4.3 inches.” What I haven’t seen is this
when it comes to temperature predictions, and that leaves me with more doubt about the accuracy. Is
it 1.1-2.9 degrees C +/- 0.1 degrees C? Or is it 1.1-2.9 degrees C +/- 14 degrees C? One would make
sense, the other wouldn’t, and the fact that they’re predicting tenths of a degree in 100 years seems an
awful lot like me estimating weight of my buddy in thousandths of pound by picking him up.
5) Antarctica: The melting of the ice in Antarctica, specifically Western Antarctica is a cornerstone of
the Green evidence of the damage Global Warming is causing. In his movie, Al Gore spent a good
bit of time showing dramatic satellite pictures of this area. He showed really detailed time-lapse
pictures of a huge land mass breaking up and turning into sea ice over the period of hours or days (I
forget which, because he moved on quickly to keep the viewer from doing anything rash, like
thinking). Of course, despite the fact that this was painted as just one of a string of obvious clues that
we can kiss Antarctica goodbye, if that rate actually continued the entire continent would disappear in
a year. What he was actually showing was one part of a cyclical melting / freezing process. But of
course he didn’t mention that.
Gore also didn’t mention that according to NASA, the station data at Punta Arenas on the
southern tip of South America has recorded steady drop in temperature since 1888. Not only is this
the closest recording station to Antarctica, but this is also backed up by infrared satellite
measurements of Antarctica published in the Journal Of Climate, saying “Both satellite data and
ground stations show slight cooling over the last 20 years.” (Comiso, J.C., 2000, “Variability and
trends in Antarctic surface temperature from in situ and satellite infrared measurements,” Journal of
Climate 13:1674-96) Not exactly resounding support for the idea that Antarctica is flooding the
planet. If that isn’t enough to cast doubt on Gore’s Antarctic doomsday predictions, according to
side-looking radar measurements published in an article in Science, Western Antarctica is actually
increasing in ice mass…not by much though, only 26.8 GIGATONS per year (“Positive Mass
Balance of the Ross Ice Streams, West Antarctica.” Science 18 January 2002: Vol. 295. no. 5554, pp.
476 – 480. http://www.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/abstract/295/5554/476). Dang, I forgot again,
what are we terrified of?
6) Scientists and their moral high-ground: As Alston Chase put it, “when the search for truth is
confused with political advocacy, the pursuit of knowledge is reduced to the quest for power.” The
IPCC is an international consortium of scientists, but it isn’t above political, financial, and peer
pressures. There is much debate over the quality of the research they performed, and their credibility
has been called into question many times, by environmental researchers, not The Oil Industry (see
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intergovernmental_Panel_on_Climate_Change for a good summary of IPCC
topics, including debates over accuracy).
It’s a well-known phenomenon that researchers subconsciously tend to find evidence backing up
their hypothesis, which is why double-blind studies were invented. As far as I can tell, none of this
research was done with a double-blind method. While it’s arguably impossible to perform doubleblind
experiments on the environment, the problems stemming from the lack of blindness can’t be
dismissed. Scientists are just people with jobs, reputations, and financial responsibilities of their own,
and are funded by groups with huge agendas and payrolls. To think that they are not susceptible to
their own opinions and ideas is a naïve belief in the incorruptibility and purity of science.
7) Kyoto Agreement: Holy crap. I tried to read it, and that’s more confusing than the tax code. I read
a summary instead, which was still confusing, but in the end it doesn’t seem to have many teeth to
me. China and India….89.2 bagillion people, booming economies (china anyway) and they’re
exempt from it. Oh, and you can still pollute, but you can buy your way out of it, kinda like sin,
Indulgences, and the Catholic Church way back in the day. According to Michael Crichton’s
research, the agreement will reduce temperatures by only 0.04 degrees Celsius in the year 2100.
Green people say it’s a first step, but it doesn’t even sound like that to me. What’s the point if it has
no actual practical effect?
Who cares anyway: After all the scientific debate, after all the research and who’s right and who’s
wrong, I constantly come back to this idea: Why give a damn about saving the planet? It’s going to
be just fine, with our without us; let’s not forget it came from molten lava and poisonous gasses. For
the sake of argument, let’s say everything Al Gore says is correct, and every bad thing that’s been
predicted comes true. Let’s say that the air and oceans warm, ice melts, oceans rise, storms surge,
and the Gulf Stream current is interrupted with ice-melt from Greenland thus triggering another
European Ice Age. Why should I care? Me, my children, and my grandchildren are going to be long
dead, and I have no doubt that the human race will survive. We’ve survived through other ice ages,
droughts, hurricanes, tsunamis, plagues, tornadoes…why would any of this be any different? Should
I care because it’s not the way the world was when I grew up? Nope…nothing I can possibly do will
keep it the same. Let me restate that, since it seems to be lost on environmentalists: NOTHING I or
anyone else can do can stop the progress of nature and society to keep it sentimentally locked in time.
So what if the WORST case scenario happens and say…90% of the population starves to death. Is
that a bad thing? Precious Mother Nature will then reign once more and it’ll be close to how it was
20,000 years ago. People have been dying throughout history, and all the tree-hugging in the world
isn’t going to change that. If we’re stupid and we chop down 99% of earth’s forests, then the planet
will fill with CO2, oxygen will be sucked up, and most living things will die off. Oh well. Give it a
few million years, and the world will grow back (due to huge amounts of plant food: CO2, sunlight,
and water from huge Global Warming storms). The few hundred thousand humans who were forced
to live in caves will begin to rebound, and everything will be fine and sustainable for the next 100,000
years.
It boggles my mind that the same liberal people who practice the Religion of Environmentalism
(and we can all agree it is one), and who don’t hold other religious beliefs (ie not believing in an
afterlife or reincarnation) can care so much about their precious human race. Aren’t the humans the
ones who are destroying the planet and who’s population is exploding from 6.5 billion now to 9
billion in the foreseeable future? We’re not an endangered species. Why would anybody like me,
who FULLY believes in the resourcefulness, ingenuity, and near indestructibility of the human race,
care at all if 2/3 of the people die off in some self-induced environmental natural disaster in 500
years? The world will re-balance, trees will grow in the middle of Times Square, and we start all over
again. In fact, I think it would be pretty sweet. Think of all the good camping spots that would be
available! So bring on CO2! Bring on massive population growth, overcrowding, starvation, and
disease! Guess what? I won’t be here to see it, neither will anyone I know, and the world will finally
be saved.
Dave

A Washington, DC, airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble!

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a candidate’s staffer, who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information. Then she interrupted me with, ‘I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.’ Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, ‘Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in Africa.’ Her response - click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, ‘Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!’ (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife who asked, ‘Is it possible to see England from Canada ?’ I said, ‘No.’ She said, ‘But they look so close on the map.’ (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car he said, ‘I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.’ (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ‘Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?’ I said, ‘No, why do you ask?’ She replied, ‘Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said ‘FAT’, and I’m overweight. I think that’s very rude!’ After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is ‘FAT’ (Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

8. A Senator’s aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ‘Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii ?’

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, ‘How do I know which plane to get on?’ I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ‘I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.’

10. A lady Senator called and said, ‘I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?’ I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, ‘Yeah, whatever, smarty!’

11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. ‘Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.’ I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, ‘Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!’

12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, ‘I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .’ I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ‘Are you sure that’s the name of the town?’ ‘Yes, what flights do you have?’ replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, ‘I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Rhino anywhere.’ The lady retorted, ‘Oh, don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!’ So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ‘You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?’ The reply? ‘Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.’

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it’s in!

SCHOOL — 1957 vs. 2007

Scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school
parking lot
with shotgun in gun rack.
1957
- Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun,
goes to his car
and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007
- School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off
to
jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors
called in for
traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957
- Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and
end up
buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and
Mark. Charge
them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started
it.

Scenario:
Jeffrey won’t be still in class, disrupts other
students.
1957
- Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the
Principal.
Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class
again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a
zombie. Tested for
ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has
a
disability.

Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his
Dad gives him a
whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal,
goes to
college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy
removed to foster
care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells
Billy’s sister that she
remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to
prison. Billy’s
mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the
smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug
violations. Car
searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario:
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to
college.
2007 - Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper
articles appear
nationally explaining that teaching English as a
requirement for
graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit
against state
school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English
banned from core
curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing
lawns for a
living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,
puts them in
a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007- BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged
with domestic
terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from
home,
computers confiscated, Johnny’s Dad goes on a terror
watch list and is
never allowed to fly again.

Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his
knee. He is
found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to
comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on
playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses
her job. She
faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of
therapy.

TOP 8 MORONS

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, “Please come out and give yourself up.”


3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot”, the man shouted, “that’s not what I said!”.

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart”. “Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. “No!” the man shouted, “This is her husband!”



7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER…THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

A lot of Americans have become so insulated from reality that they
imagine that America can suffer defeat without any inconvenience to
themselves.

Pause a moment, reflect back.

These events are actual events from history.

They really happened!!!

Do you remember?

1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by Muslim male extremist
between the ages of 17 and 40.

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred
by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

3. In 1979, the US embassy in Ir an was taken over by Muslim male
extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

4. During the 1980’s a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by
Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by Muslim male
extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old
American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair
by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver
trying to rescue passengers was murdered by Muslim male extremists
between the ages of 17 and 40.

8. In 1988 , Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by Muslim male extremists
between the ages of 17 and 40.

9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by Muslim
male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.
10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya an d Tanzania were bombed by
Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles
to take down the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one
crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by
the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by Muslim male
extremists between the of 17 and 40.

12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against Muslim
male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by– you
guessed it– Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

No, I really don’t see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you? So,
to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent
on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to
profile certain ! people. ..
Absolutely No Profiling!
They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids,
airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members
of the President’s security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal
hips, and Medal of Honor winner and former Governor Joe Foss,

but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40 alone lest they be
guilty of profiling.

According to The Book of Revelations:

The Anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will
deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE
Christ-like appeal….the prophecy says that people will flock to him
and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power,
he will destroy everything.

And Now:
For the award winning
Act of Stuidity
Of all times the People of America want to elect, to the most Powerful
position on the face of the Planet — The Pr esidency of the United states of A merica

A Muslim
Male
Extremist
Between
the ages
of 17 and 40.

Have the American People completely lost their Minds, or just their
Power of Reason ???

I’m sorry but I refuse to take a chance on the ‘unknown’ candidate
Obama…

Let’s send this to as many people as we can so that the Gloria Aldreds
and other stupid attorneys along with Federal Justices that want to
thwart common sense, feel ashamed of themselves — if they have any such
sense.

As the writer of the award winning story ‘Forrest Gump’ so aptly put it,

‘Stupid
Is
As
Stupid Does.’