You Are Kidding!!!

SCHOOL — 1957 vs. 2007

Scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school
parking lot
with shotgun in gun rack.
1957
- Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun,
goes to his car
and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007
- School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off
to
jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors
called in for
traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957
- Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and
end up
buddies.
2007 – Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and
Mark. Charge
them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started
it.

Scenario:
Jeffrey won’t be still in class, disrupts other
students.
1957
- Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the
Principal.
Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class
again.
2007 – Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a
zombie. Tested for
ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has
a
disability.

Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his
Dad gives him a
whipping with his belt.
1957 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal,
goes to
college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy
removed to foster
care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells
Billy’s sister that she
remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to
prison. Billy’s
mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 – Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the
smoking dock.
2007 – Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug
violations. Car
searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario:
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 – Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to
college.
2007 – Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper
articles appear
nationally explaining that teaching English as a
requirement for
graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit
against state
school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English
banned from core
curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing
lawns for a
living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,
puts them in
a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 – Ants die.
2007- BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged
with domestic
terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from
home,
computers confiscated, Johnny’s Dad goes on a terror
watch list and is
never allowed to fly again.

Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his
knee. He is
found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to
comfort him.
1957 – In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on
playing.
2007 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses
her job. She
faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of
therapy.

TOP 8 MORONS

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, “Please come out and give yourself up.”


3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot”, the man shouted, “that’s not what I said!”.

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart”. “Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. “No!” the man shouted, “This is her husband!”



7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER…THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

A lot of Americans have become so insulated from reality that they
imagine that America can suffer defeat without any inconvenience to
themselves.

Pause a moment, reflect back.

These events are actual events from history.

They really happened!!!

Do you remember?

1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by Muslim male extremist
between the ages of 17 and 40.

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred
by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

3. In 1979, the US embassy in Ir an was taken over by Muslim male
extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

4. During the 1980′s a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by
Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by Muslim male
extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old
American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair
by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver
trying to rescue passengers was murdered by Muslim male extremists
between the ages of 17 and 40.

8. In 1988 , Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by Muslim male extremists
between the ages of 17 and 40.

9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by Muslim
male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.
10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya an d Tanzania were bombed by
Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles
to take down the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one
crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by
the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by Muslim male
extremists between the of 17 and 40.

12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against Muslim
male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by– you
guessed it– Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

No, I really don’t see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you? So,
to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent
on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to
profile certain ! people. ..
Absolutely No Profiling!
They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids,
airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members
of the President’s security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal
hips, and Medal of Honor winner and former Governor Joe Foss,

but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40 alone lest they be
guilty of profiling.

According to The Book of Revelations:

The Anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will
deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE
Christ-like appeal….the prophecy says that people will flock to him
and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power,
he will destroy everything.

And Now:
For the award winning
Act of Stuidity
Of all times the People of America want to elect, to the most Powerful
position on the face of the Planet — The Pr esidency of the United states of A merica

A Muslim
Male
Extremist
Between
the ages
of 17 and 40.

Have the American People completely lost their Minds, or just their
Power of Reason ???

I’m sorry but I refuse to take a chance on the ‘unknown’ candidate
Obama…

Let’s send this to as many people as we can so that the Gloria Aldreds
and other stupid attorneys along with Federal Justices that want to
thwart common sense, feel ashamed of themselves — if they have any such
sense.

As the writer of the award winning story ‘Forrest Gump’ so aptly put it,

‘Stupid
Is
As
Stupid Does.’