Memorial Day Landing at Frankfort Airport, Germany

Posted by admin     Category: Jokes

Memorial Day at an airport in Germany, a few years back: Frankfurt Airport

The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short-tempered lot. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.

Speedbird 206: “Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active.”

Ground: “Guten morgan, taxi to your gate.”

The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?”

airplane70 Very Funny Memorial Day Jokes Frankfurt Airport

Speedbird 206: “Stand by, ground, I’m looking up the gate location now.”

Ground (with typical German impatience): “Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?”

Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, in 1944. But I didn’t stop”.

A Senior Citizen on Politicians

Posted by admin     Category: Politics
Alan Simpson, Senator from Wyoming, Co-Chair of Obama’s deficit
commission, calls senior citizens the Greediest Generation as he
compared “Social Security” to a Milk Cow with 310 million teats.
August, 2010.

Here’s a response in a letter from a unknown fellow in Montana…
I think he is a little ticked off!   He also tells it like it is !
—————————————————————————————————————————-

“Hey Alan, let’s get a few things straight..

1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY
YEARS.

2. I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15
years old. I am now 63).

3 My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other
Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for
decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give
OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus
bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme
that would have made Bernie Madoff proud.

4. Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your ilk pulled the
proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing
retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to
age 67.  NOW, you and your shill commission is proposing to move the
goalposts YET AGAIN.

5  I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare
from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the
game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy
to such an  extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay
the bills.

6.  I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our
entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why?
Because you incompetent bastards spent our money so profligately that
you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you come
to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay off YOUR debt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To add insult to injury, you label us “greedy” for calling “bullshit” on
your incompetence. Well, Captain Bullshit, I have a few questions for
YOU.

1. How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during
your pathetic 50-year political career?

2. At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and
how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the
American taxpayers?

3. How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance?

4.  What cuts in YOUR retirement and healthcare benefits are you
proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or, as usual,
have  you exempted yourself and your political cronies?

It is you, Captain Bullshit, and your political co-conspirators called

Congress who are the “greedy” ones.  It is you and your fellow nutcases
who have bankrupted America and stolen the American dream from
millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers.  And for what?  Votes.  That’s right,
sir.  You and yours have bankrupted America for the sole purpose of
advancing your pathetic political careers.  You know it, we know it, and
you know that we know it.

And you can take that to the bank, you miserable s o b.

The Perfect Man

Posted by admin     Category: Jokes

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into
the taxi.

Cabbie says, ‘Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.

Passenger: ‘Who?’

Cabbie: ‘Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to
Frank Feldman every single time.’

Passenger: ‘There are always a few clouds over everybody.’

Cabbie: ‘Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete.
He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros..
He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you
should have heard him play the piano.
He was an amazing guy.’

Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: ‘There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered
everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which
fork to eat them with.
He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street
blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right.

Passenger: ‘Wow, some guy then.’

Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic
jams.
Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.
But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman
and make her feel good.
He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his
clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too – He was the
perfect man!
He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.’

Passenger: ‘An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?’

Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”

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